New Year's Eve Day

I'm not sure what to do with this but I feel I should tell someone, so here we go. I got up this afternoon to find a voicemail on my phone from the temp agency through which I am employed telling me that they are terminating my employment due to budgeting reasons. Not for any fault of mine did I lose my job, but because... of what? The Man? The Machine? Who do I blame? I'm not sure, but I've never been so insulted in my whole life. I could swallow the sea to wash down all this pride. Lew says to come in Monday anyway. And that's what I'm going to do and there's a certain amount of security in that- having a next step to take. But if I didn't know before, now I'm sure that I have no control over my own life. I exist at the mercy of a bunch of retards and bean counters.

I need a hug.

Eventful Life

Borrowed from Darwin (via Der Wolfanwalt):

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower (Mulitple times with my dad.)
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (and Disneyworld)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis (Dad again.)
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (Husband says it doesn't count if you're not on a boat, but I've seen lighting over the ocean and it was something to see. Dad and I were at an open-air seaside bar.)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill (more than I'd like to admit)
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (or both.) (Both many times, and the best I've seen was in Kansas.)
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing (indoors)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (BS and me!)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (This one seems a little biased to me...)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt (I started it, but I guess I'll get back to it when I retire.)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (But I have broken my nose and it is crooked to this day.)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (more times than I can count, though not recently)
100. Read an entire book in one day (again, more times than I can count, though not recently)

And its cold outside today.

To be true to my tagline, what am I thinking about today? Well, I just found out a few hours ago that Adolf, Montie's dog, died on Thanksgiving. I feel halfway stupid for being so bothered by this old dog's passing, but Adolf was one cool dude. I mean, I've known for years that he was not long for this world, being half-blind, mostly deaf and tumor-riddled as he was, but he was such a fixture of Montie and Darrell's house. All the charm of their country home can be summed up in a very short list: alcohol, guns, poker, and having dinner with Adolf. At least for me that was what I enjoyed aside from just the company of my friends. But "dinner with Adolf"- let me explain. This dog did not eat dog food. I'm not really sure why Montie started feeding him off the table, but Adolf always ate what we were eating when we were eating it. And its not as though he just got scraps. Oh, no- the dog got his own plate. On many occasions, I've heard Montie say, as he bought a sandwich out of the vending machine, he had to get up early to cook something for the dog before he left for work.

And I know somewhere in that dark part of my mind that knows things that I don't want to think about that Montie has also said that when the dog dies, he's going back to California. I haven't brought it up and I don't want to, but I know all the same. So I'm thinking about that too.

I've had David Bowie's "Let's Dance" in my head just about all day. And I blame you, Lexx.

And check this out!!!

Too Tired For Clever Title

So I'm back on the job. Well, back on a job. My job is not my job anymore. I'm somewhere inbetween useless noob and trained at this point in my first week, and I feel something like the victim of a stroke: I know I used to do these things, and I'm pretty sure I could do them again, but I just can't get everyone else to believe me. I'm whining, but I know full well that this is the price of pulling the trigger too soon, as Lewis put it.

Ah, Lewis. And Montie, and Darrell, and Paul, Syla, Alejandro, Kyle and everyone else. I really missed my friends. Lewis has been nothing but sweet to me. I know that man too well to not know when he's up to something, so I'm taking the kindness while its available. I suspect that soon I'll be up to my eyeballs in chaos with an angry old man trying to teach me how to direct the flow of the madness. I don't mean to imply that Lew isn't a kind teacher, but that we don't always understand each other. I don't know how it happens, but generally we're on much of the same wavelength but we nearly come to blows because we are both very violent people and perfectionists. Honestly, some days it feels like we're just speaking different dialects of the same language. Or it could all be my immature fault. Or he could just be an angry old man and not the wise old man I see.

And Montie. I really, really missed Montie. Like I miss other friends who have that have proven true although absent.

I'm beginning to think that my desertion, absence, and return served to show me what I value. I hope I've learned it anyway. I see it now, but whether I'll see it before I let myself make the same mistake again only time can tell.

For now its drug testing and patience. I am literally starting over, so the company wants to make sure that I didn't pick up a heroin habit during my vacation. You know me...

Return To The Real World

At long last, the day of my return to the workforce is upon us. There are two possible outcomes from this sudden but expected turn of events: getting out of the house provides me with tons of new material, or, more likely, I'll never see you again, Dear Readers. If this is goodbye, know that you'll always be in my heart. No, no, don't cry. This is for the best, I promise.