More to the point...

It's been a while since bisexuality came up here, and some notable things have been happening in that front of my life, so I'll fill you in. My friendship with hot chick at work has been progressing at an absolute crawl, which quite honestly suits me fine. I like feeling people out before I make any kind of friendly commitment. Relationships possessed with reason and all that. As we've slowly been becoming friends, and somehow completely separate from our relationship, the organized grab-ass has not stopped. I don't know how to describe it other than if in the course of our workday we haven't seen each other, "Where have you been?" is accompanied by a friendly smack on the ass instead of, perhaps, a handshake. I know she's bi, and she knows I'm bi. But we continue to dance around each other throwing fake jabs like boxers before the fight gets real. I'm thoroughly enjoying it, to be honest with you.

While this has been going on I've also been making serious steps toward shedding all my useless crap. All the baggage I've accumulated from the guilt and insecurity of not being straight has been classified as useless crap, and these last few weeks I've been just dumping it. It wasn't really a conscious thing. I just woke up one morning and didn't give a fuck. I think though, it started when I realized the geeky-cute chick at the coffee shop with the luscious lips and glasses was flirting with me. That day I started aggressively coming out. I've been honest about my sexuality for a long time, but I haven't been particularly open about it, particularly not at work. When I first realized I was bi, I thought that as soon as I saw it, everyone else would see it too. Something would change in my aura and a nearly visible tag would appear on my forehead: "BISEXUAL." But I have learned in the ensuing years that this is not the case. It is quite possible to be married, openly bisexual and for most people to not catch on. By virtue of being a woman, when I call another woman "hot," "sexy," "beautiful," etc., most people don't think a thing of it. I've learned that in most cases, I have to explicitly state that I like women. Even then, two out of three people will look at me very confusedly and say, "You're a lesbian?" And then I have to say, "No, I'm bi." And then they are visibly relieved for a second, as they realize that my marriage is not a sham, but then they get to really thinking. As they ask and I answer more questions about what it is to be bisexual, I can see their brains kind of break a little. Their eyes glaze over and they can't seem to close their mouths all the way and they stare at me like some alien creature as I smilingly explain to them that the world is not all black and white. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid all those years when I was quietly bisexual in my corner halfheartedly pretending to be straight. I don't like doing this to people, but I've lost my patience. I've waited and waited and waited for them to catch up, but I've had to admit that it isn't going to happen by magic. People need real physical examples to uproot a basic assumption or two. So I find myself having become the destroyer of axioms. I am truly becoming the token bi chick.